Flash Rosenberg
Flash Rosenberg is an “Attention Span for Hire” who draws, photographs, writes, and performs. She is Guggenheim Fellow who served as Artist-in-Residence for LIVE from the NY Public Library for seven years. Her humorous solo performances toured internationally. She is a Mainstage storyteller for The Moth, regular performer for Monologues and Madness, and taught Perception Studies on the subways for Cooper Union. Her photos and cartoons have been widely published and exhibited. Flash Rosenberg Studio is a full-service art, motion picture, merriment, and mischief factory, based in Harlem. She lives with two turtles and infinite questions. Videos & Animations: https://vimeo.com/flashrosenberg
Website: www.FlashRosenberg.com Email: flashrosenberg@gmail.com Phone/Text: 917-596-8978
Pizza is the Most Perfect Food
PIZZA IS THE MOST PERFECT FOOD, PROVIDING THE
Minimum Daily Adult Requirement for Infinity.
Bite the point, you get 2 points. Bite 2 points.
You get 4 points. Bite 4 points to get 8.
8 to get 16………….You get the point.
Well, the fun thing about Infinity
is the more bites you have to
eat, the less pizza there is
to eat. PIZZA INFINITY
explains how you
can love some-
one forever.
Yet it can
end
••
•
8pm • The Lights
8pm The lights go down. A hush
Announces you’re up! You’re on!
I’m up! I’m on! I’m missing
Your show cause I’m in mine
8 pm All over town. Thousands
Go up! We're on! Not missing
But flowing. Together. What luck!
Stage struck. Aall at the same time
• Touch Here…to speak 日本
• Touch Here…to speak 한국어
• Touch Here…to speak Español
• Touch Here…to speak Россию
Touch! Hear how to learn to say: I love you
in Chinese • Wǒ ài nǐ
in Korean • Salanghaeyo
in Spanish • Te quiero
in Russian • Ya lyublyu tebya
With lust and gusto, I Touch Here!
But no money comes out
Then, all I can say in English is
S%*$#T!
IOWA
boyfriend
gave me his shirt
Size large on me
Reads OW
But when I get breasts
I'll be in
IOWA
When pizza drops from a palm tree
When an apology resurrects broken glass
When cake counts as a vegetable
And my neighbor stops being an ass
I’ll still be straining to hear it
Instead I said it to you, alas
I love you
When tenderness rhymes with pickles
When kindness makes you hot
That day it might be different
But this year definitely not
When I offered my soul to you
You gave it that jab to the heart
I love that we are friends
Ultimate Beauty Tip
Forget the make-up, facelifts, and lotion
Forget exercise, diets, and surgery
The way to appear beautiful?
Make people laugh
It’s a physiological fact
Laughing eyes squint
So you can’t see too well
Seen through laughter?
I look great!
